An 80s Child’s Loss – Why Does It Hurt So Bad?

I rarely cry audibly. But the death of my idols? That’ll do it.

It’s Saturday night and I’m sitting on my bed playing through my fave Whitney jams and singing along through sobs and squeals. I had plans, but decided to ditch them and mourn my lady. Any 80s child, regardless of whether you’re into pop or not, will have felt a pang of pain when they heard about her death tonight. Obviously older people are saddened as well, but Whitney was a piece of our childhood, one of our first memories. Her songs were the first I learned by heart, The Bodyguard the first movie I wasn’t allowed to watch when I was 7 so I ran to my room crying (now I watch it whenever it’s on, no matter what). Along with a couple of other powerhouses, she was it.

So gone at 48? Really? Weren’t we all rooting for her to turn it around? We heard her sing in the last couple of years and it seemed like she’d lost the voice, but didn’t we all think, “It’s Whitney, she’ll get it back”? It doesn’t feel fair. It’s never “fair”, but like I tweeted earlier, I feel like I’ve lost an aunt or another close relative, and I’m sure I’m not the only one. Some celebs die and it feels distant and unreal. This feels real.

CNN is running clips of her and with each song, my eyes well up. That’s weird right? Of course it’s weird, I’ve never met her. How cheesy is it to say that that’s how close I (and lots of us) felt to her. I gave up on Christina and her issues, I laugh at Lindsay Lohan’s (I know that’s awful). Whitney’s never made me anything but sad and hopeful that she’d come back to us.

So tonight Ms. Houston, we bid you adieu and hope you are at peace. Your death hit us with no less impact and awe than your voice and I’m going to go ahead and speak for everyone and say I’m sorry this had to happen for you to be Queen of the Night again. LOVE YOU WHITNEY!!!

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